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|Friday, January 5th, 2007|
I posted you on http://www.womansavers.com
for all the world to see how you cheated on me and hurt me emotionally and physically. I pray that you will never hurt another but I know because you are good looking and charming, another prey will fall trap in your web of lies.
Someday a greater power will judge you but until that time I will let the world know my story.
Forever Scarred Current Mood: disappointed
|Monday, May 29th, 2006|
Hello! First time poster.
I haven't used Livejournal much, so I'm sorry if I make a mistake. I don't know much about this. (I'm attempting an LJ cut! *Hopes it works*)
Anyways! A bit of background information. I'm Canadian, and My Boyfriend is English. We've been together about a year(he's only displaying odd behavior now... Never has before). We go back and forth, and our parents have met. We had a fight not too long ago, as he thinks any shirt that shows even the top part of cleavage is slutty(Basically, anything that isn't a round necked shirt, and there's no way I could wear a bathing suit...), and gets angry when I wear something like that. He'll pull up a shirt if he finds it too low, or generally freaks out (I'm just finding out now how controlling he is. He can do whatever he wants, talk to whomever he wants, and yet if I speak to a guy, he gets jealous). Anyways. He loves his football, and lives in a town 40 minutes away from London (easily accessible from his hometown by train). He informed me I'd 'stay home' on my holiday there this year while he went to his games... And freaked when I mentioned going to London by myself. So, no low cut shirts for me, and no going anywhere without him. Hmm. He also seems to think everything has to do with "Girl power" and "feminism". Sighh. Why did he show NO signs of his psychotic ways until just recently???( ConvoCollapse )
I don't know why he's like this... I just want him to be normal like before. =S What do I do? Current Mood: angry
|Friday, February 24th, 2006|
I meant to post this before now but this is my first day off in a while, someone at work quit so me and the whore have been having to work extra shifts until the boss can find someone new. Went to a fetish gig held locally last weekend, had a lot of fun. Freya went the first day and it was pretty tame, some hot people wearing hot clothes but aside from that nothing really that fascinating, I guess I'm kind of jaded because I work in a store that sells sex toys, everything they were showing off I had at least heard of before, even if we don't actually stock it. Speaking of which, the stocks were rather interesting, would love to have a guy in them so I could do whatever I wanted to him, heh. I was made aware of this get together by Brandy who comes into my work sometimes. She says she only browses if the other girl (That would be Debbie the slut) is working, then comes back and buys when I am working. She was there with her husband/girlfriend Carol who was wearing a schoolgirl outfit with his hands cuffed in front of him and a leash and dog collar, it was so hot I was getting just a little moist as they say.
The second day I found more interesting, although Freya decided she wasn't really interested in going back. There was a number of things going on, including a fundraiser for a charity called "living positive" for people who have HIV. They had two boys and two women there, for a five dollar donation you could either spank one or get spanked by one. Of course they were clothing, but still not bad. As I was waiting to spank the boy I commented that I would pay fifty bucks if the boy was wearing a skirt. Well the person running to booth thought that was a great idea and whisked the sub boy away for a few minutes. I don't know who they borrowed the skirt from but he was back 10 minutes later wearing a little red miniskirt over his jockey shorts. It was so hot lifting up his cute little skirt and beating his ass with a paddle, good thing he was clearly a genuine sub because they told the next person in line to go easier on him. But for the next ten or fifteen minutes anyone who wanted to spank him before he changed back had to pay twenty dollars. There were four other women who wanted to do so, and Brandy volunteered Carol to go for a round too. I swear that was the funniest thing I have ever seen, a guy dressed like a schoolgirl in a dog collar, spanking a guy who is dressed entirely like a guy, even had a goatee, but wearing a red miniskirt. That was the highlight of my weekend.
|Tuesday, October 25th, 2005|
Posted this in my own journal recently and decided to share it here.
One of my girls, Dawn, was celebrating her birthday on the 8th. We hit the clubs and had a good time, everyone got a little drunk, David (our DD) even had a few once we got back to Dawn's place after hitting a liquor store. We kept on partying into the night, I remember at one point finding a quiet corner with Freya and messing up our lipstick, which made Adam, Dawn's bf, happy. He spent much of the night bugging Dawn about what she was going to wear to our halloween party. Apparently she hadn't decided yet and he wanted her to wear a french maid outfit. So I suggested a little game, and by the time it began it was me, Angie and Dawn playing against Adam, David and Dawn's bro Kennedy. The game was simple. One boy did something, then the girls had to do it. One girl does something, then the boys had to do it. Anyone who can not is eliminated. Anyone still in takes a shot of Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum. Next round continues with a different boy and girl leading the rest, when one team is eliminated they lose and forfeit their choice of halloween costume to the winners. The first few rounds eliminated One from each side, Angie couldn't stand on one leg after a shot with the heels she was wearing, and Adam refused to do a girlie clap and hug the nearest person of the same gender. Then it came to my second turn. I enlisted Bruce, who recently got married to his long time bf Abe, as an impartial assistant to both teams. Bent my knees like I was sitting down and put my back against a wall. I then had Bruce hand me the little television from Dawn's bedroom. Then I stood up. If anyone has ever heard about this particular trick you know the diference in hip structure and center of balance between the genders makes this a simple trick for women but boys can not do it. So we won!
Tues morning the six of us and a few other stragglers, including Freya hit a local costume shop to see what they had left. All of us girls had fun, I don't think they boys enjoyed themselves as much. We must have given them half the costumes in the store to try on and then show off for us. Dawn did agree to wear the Maid Outfit
but so is Adam. Angie cast David as a Roman Gladiator
and then I got to decide Kennedy's costume. So many things I could have chosen. I was sorely tempted to give him Snow White
but I eventually decided on something a little more Elegant
|Tuesday, September 13th, 2005|
A boy in a skirt is still a boy
Well I am officially baned for a month at the bar where I met Freya. I was there Friday night, it was packed. Now, being a GLTB bar there are always a few trannies there. Usually I think it's kind of cute. Not hot like an unwilling male being dressed, or a self-conscious boy doing it for halloween, but still kind of cute. Freya couldn't make it so I'm just having a couple cold ones, dancing. If anyone flirts with me I'll lightly flirt back but nothing serious. At one point I'm sitting enjoying my beer, amusing how at a GLBT bar the women mostly order beer and the boys order more coolers and "girlie" drinks.
There's a tranny sitting not too far away from me wearing a plaid mini-skirt a white shirt knotted under his padded bra, and those rediculous heels that are like 7" with the platform on them. So as we're sitting there a girl walks by, a little on the plump side but still pretty cute. This Trannie in the slut outfit goes "mooo." as she walks past. At first I think I must have misheard it, until his companion, another trannie dressed more conservatively, starts laughing. I sit there and try to go back to my drink, but every time a woman walks by this fucking asshole makes some obnoxious comment, either insulting their figure, their outfit, or just them in general, and each time his companion guffaws at the so-called-wit or says something along the lines of "That outfit would look better on you". Eventually "mooo" girl comes back with a really hot girl, I think they look kind of cute together, but of course school-slut has to make a comment.
"She should ditch the porkchop and come be with someone as hot as she is." or something like that. I guess the chubby girl heard him because she looks back at him and he has the nerve to say, "What, no-one said the word cheeseburger." By this point I am pissed, Trannies usually say they are paying homage to the female identity, but this fucker is using it as just another way to mock us and ridicule us. So I get up, walk up to him, throw my beer in his face, prompting him to take a swing t me but in those stupid shoes he could exactly throw a real punch without losing his balance. I punched him across the side of his jaw. The long and the short of it is that the bouncers separated us, and called the police, we both agreed not to press charges when the police arrived. So now I have a $250 fine for fighting in public and am banned for a month from one of my fave bars.
X-posted to hell.
|Sunday, August 7th, 2005|
Got into an argument the other day with Angie, she doesn't like the fact that I refer to males of all ages as boys. The day I see one of them conduct themselves with courtesy, respect and dignity I will call him a man. I'm still waiting. boys are stupid, greedy, selfish bastards who can think no further than their own lust, be that actual sexual lust or the kind inspired by those throbbing dick replacements they buy when a simple car is all that is needed.
I was also reminded recently one thing I don't like about my work. A guy comes in wearing this disgusting shirt, the kind with some saying or another belittling women, trying to reduce us to nothing more than a showpiece, and he starts asking about movies with guys pissing on women. Fucking asshole! I so wanted to just fucking kick his nuts till they broke.
Had an interesting discussion the other day with a boy of religious devoting (something I don't have), we were talking about Adam and Eve and all that bullshit and he was saying how God made Adam, and then he made Eve from one of Adam's ribs. So I say, so basically God made Adam, and then released version 2.0 with all the problems of the original version fixed. Doesn't that make boys an obsolete model? He had nothing to say to that, it was fucking funny. Oh yeah, check out my new icon.
Crossposted all over the place.
|Tuesday, July 19th, 2005|
T-shirt I saw a girl wear into my work the other day: I love sensitive guys who cry when I kick them.
I WANT this shirt.
|Sunday, July 3rd, 2005|
|Monday, June 20th, 2005|
My ex-boyfirend and I have been broken up since Late March, and last night I finally managed to get him to be at home so I could pick up the things I had left there. I also brought back his shit that he had dumped on me. Of course when I get there he hadn't gathered my stuff up, so I had to go around looking for my things. I found one of my DVD's (in it's case) being used as a coaster for his drinks. While I was getting everything together I noticed a little pink clutch that definitely wasn't mine in the bathroom. We were dating more than half a year before I started leaving anything there and he already has some other bitch leaving her stuff less than 3 months after we broke up?
I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of acknowledging this though, that was exactly what he wanted, to parade it in my face that he was already seeing someone. Fucking bastard. I think tonight I'm gonna hit the club, but not my usual places. If he can get himself a new girlfriend this quick, so can I.
Xposted to dickh8ersunite
|Wednesday, May 25th, 2005|
friends and lovers
last night a friend made a move on me. in rejecting him i wasn't sure if it was him or me that had been the bad guy(/girl). had he been wanting to use a friend for sex, i'd say him. however, had he been really into me i would have to be more sensitive.
so, not knowing, i felt that i had to be honest, and ended up opening up to him about my changing attitude to sex and relations with friends. i told him that i would feel degraded. he eventually told me he understood. and then he used me.
i feel that this is worse than if we had just fucked without saying anything. my will power is not strong enough. i tried to change my ways... to behave in such a way that demonstrated more self respected, and ended up doing the opposite. because everything i said to him was shat on.
i know that it was my decision to sleep with him. but it was a case of giving in. i explicitly told him that wasn't what i wanted. i know i'm the idiot here. i should know that guys are like this. i should have gone and found somewhere to sleep before. i still think he has done wrong.
he is coming to visit me at uni on the 9th. part of me doesn't want to even look at him. and part of me wants to pretend it never happened. Current Mood: depressed
|Wednesday, May 18th, 2005|
in case you wondered...
my new livejournal is:
|Saturday, April 30th, 2005|
|Saturday, April 9th, 2005|
Nothing to do with boys, but...
The National Day of Silence is on the 13th for anyone who wants to participate. If you want to do it, you can make cards saying
"Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I am participating in the Day of Silence, a national youth movement protesting the silence faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and their allies. My deliberate silence echoes that silence, which is caused by harassment, prejudice, and discrimination. I believe that ending the silence is the first step toward fighting these injustices. Think about the voices you are not hearing today. What are you going to do to end the silence?"
Yay for anyone who decides to do it!
|Thursday, April 7th, 2005|
the horror the horror
Okay, so here's my story:
A coupe of months ago, while I was interstate I fooled around a bit with a bisexual male friend of mine. Sexually it wasn't great, but beign someone who has had pretty bad luck with guys, it was just nice to have someone to play with. Unfortunately there were a few issues involved. You see he had somethign going with a boy at the same time, and that boy had a boyfriend who was a crazy bastard. So my poor friend was a little teensy bit stressed. And having to deal with the sudden development in OUR friendship was a little too much for him. So he said we should jsut go back to being friends.
BUT I find him very sttractive and while we would be hopeless as a couple on a permanent basis, I would still liek to have some kind of casual thing with him. I was totally flattered that he was interested in me int eh first place and the possiblity that he isn't anymore is kind of hard on my self-confidence. Also, as I said, it is nice to have a guy to cuddle up with with no strings attatched.
The thing is i can't pluck up the courage to just ask him, point blank 'do you still find me attractive and do you want to sleep with me?'. He lives in a different city to me, so I don't see him all that often and when I do I don't want to spoil the time we have together as friends (which is fun, even without the sex element) by confronting him with something like that. But if I am really attracted to him and I just want to find out what he thinks and what exactly motivated him to call a halt to what we were doing.
I hate how difficult it is to communicate with men. Current Mood: frustrated
|Friday, April 1st, 2005|
This is relevant to all of us!
Today, in between sleeping and whatnot, i had a quick read of my sister's book
"he's just not that into you"
I think that i am going to make a list of what I want from a boy. Stick it up in my room and NOT COMPROMISE
1. I think i deserve at the very least a text message every 4-5 days.
2. If we see eachother, i want it to be at a time when is convenient for me too- like, if i ask about maybe going out on the following sunday, i'd like a reply. not to be called at X am and being asked to go out at that very moment.
3. I am not a booty call.
4. I don't want there to be other girls on the scene. For him at least- but i won't be hypocritical, I can also stop having other girls on the scene. Honestly, if you want to get into my pants, it just takes a little effort. Nobody ever died from monogamy.
5. I want a boy who wants me sexually.
6. I want a boy who won't pressure me sexually.
7. I want someone who will be my friend, in the fact that we can chat and be stupid.
8. If a guy makes me feel like shit he's outta there.
What else do I need?
|Monday, March 21st, 2005|
i met a guy at a party and we hit it off pretty well. after that i got his number and we went for a gig together. it was followed by a movie date. on that day we were walking along and we were crossing the road when the cars all came and he wanted us to rush across so he held my hand. then we went to visit a haunted house with some friends and i was scared so he held my hand again.
and along those 2 weeks we knew each other, he'd always message me goodnight almost every night, and when we were out together he just kept sending those signals that he liked me. he'd take photos of me with his camerea phone. when our gang hung out together, he'd pay attention to me and we'd go to places together alone. some friends i spoke to told me it was really obvious that he was interested in me. i didn't wanna believe he liked me but when he held my hand i felt like it was confirmed. by the way he's an emo guy and someone that i don't believe is a player/flirt of any sort.
then he went overseas for the weekend. i was really hoping he'd come back soon and yea he did- but he didn't even inform me. i merely found out through his friend whom he called. my friend told me, "if he gave a shit about you he'd at least message you to tell you he's back" and i felt like my friend was right.
well for the first 2 days after he came back i'd ask him to come hang out with me and our friends (we're all in the same gang now). but he kept saying he couldn't, and i sensed that he was avoiding me. well to add on some history, on our 2nd date (the movie one) we'd actually plan to watch Hitch the next time went out. it wasn't really a "promise", more like a mutual agreement. so on the 2nd night when i messaged him and he said he couldn't again, i just gave a casual remark to remind him that he still owed me that movie and all he could say was "alright.. haha". so i decided, fine i'd just give up there.
before long, a day later, he took the initiative (very rare thing for him that week) to message me and asked me where i was and all. then he asked me out to watch Hitch the next day. i was really skeptical but i figured i'd just go anyway. so i agreed to it and we set the time and place and everything.
that night though, he messaged me again and said he had a fever and probably could not make it for our date the next day. the next day i messaged him to see if he was up to it, but he didn't reply me. i called him with my workplace's phone but his handphone was switched off. so i decided to meet some friends from our gang.
when i met them i found out from them that they were going to meet HIM and another guy later on. and i was like wtf?? he says he has a fever and cant make it for me, but can make it later on??? wtf was going on??? later we met the other guy but HE never showed up in the end.
and that was friday. till now, i've not even heard from him. and i don't really get what's going on. one time he and i have the best chemistry and everything seems to be going right, and suddenly we're practically non-existent in each others' lives????? i don't get it!! what i don't get most is why he'd ask me out and later give me a lame excuse and from there just disappear totally. i know he can't run very far since our gang is made up of his band and 2 of the girlfriends of members of the band and me. but considering i've not even known him for a month, i dare not be open with him and demand an explanation for what's going on with him.
so what's going on?????????????? i need some possibilities, and a lotta advice. thanks!!
|Saturday, March 12th, 2005|
idk what to do!
me and my boyfriend/ex boyfriend have been on and off for like the past 7 months. He is my first love, and i am so in love with him, i want to be with him so bad! but anyways that isn't what its about. we aren't together right now, and im pretty sure hes talking/going out w/ another girl. but im not sure, we don't ever talk about her but i know they talk. now hes a hypacrit (sp) like..he can talk to other girls i can't talk to ONE guy. but its okay because i don't want too..but last night we were talking and i told him i still wanted to be with him and he said " in time ".
its really hard not to be with him, and idk if i should wait or not! what should i do?! Current Mood: sad
|Tuesday, February 15th, 2005|
I hate it when he says hes going to call and never does!!
=( Current Mood: annoyed
|Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005|
i'm so pissed now i don't know what to do.
2 weeks ago i remember posting (under username 2mediocre4u
) about a guy who was my good friend, and started being all touchy. well last week he suddenly told me he did like me. which was, in a way, a "finally" to me and my friends. anyway, all was good, and we did spend some time together, closer and touchier than ever.
4 days after he told me his feelings, he came up to me and told me that all along he was confused, and that he decided that he liked me better as a little sister after all. what the fuck! and that whole time he was like, "oh im a big bastard" and stuff like that. but whatever. i was in pain, even though it was only a 4 day thing. i mean, i feel like my feelings were fucking cheated. he was the stupid one who was confused with his feelings, and i had to pay the price of pain for it. for him? none whatsoever. just "i'm a big bastard". and that was the end of his little guilt trip. i'm not saying that he has to feel guilty for the rest of his life or whatever, but didn't he even consider that this was my feelings he was toying with? we've been good friends for so long. he knows how i am. i get an emotional wreck when it comes to guys.
anyway i did try to put up a front saying i was fine on the first day, but then later on i messaged him to tell him how i really felt. that i was really hurt; that i felt that it was unfair. but that i wanted this friendship to work out despite all that happened; and that i just didn't know how. what did he say to me in return?? "what do you expect me to do? it's not like i wanted this to happen." so now he started pushing the fucking blame away from himself!
i was so, so mad. but i decided, okay, i'm going to forgive him. it was really hard. i tried to talk to him but in the end i decided that yes, the friendship wasn't the same anymore, and i needed time away from him, so i stopped talking to him and i blocked him so that he wouldn't have to see me and i wouldn't have to see him.
and now i'm just trying to forget about the whole incident, when his good friend comes up to me and asks me hows things. he knew what was going on the whole time but when he finally got it out of me, he said that i had to get over the fact that he (the subject of this whole thing, that is) was a big ass, and move on. and he said i shouldn't be saying stuff like he disappointed me and i couldn't trust him anymore, cuz it was mean of me.
wtf!! i dont know what this whole thing is getting to. it was already so hard for me to stop having that mindset that he was in the wrong. all i wanted to do was fucking get on with life and forget about the bastard he was. but now even his friend can't give me a break?! i can't understand why guys can be such insensitive assholes sometimes.
truth for me is, i'm still hurt by what happened. is that wrong? i don't even know what IS right in this whole situation, because the guys are all giving me the impression that i'm the one in the wrong here. that i'm the over-sensitive one. i don't know anything anymore. i can't help believing that i won't be able to trust or rely on another guy for a very long time. Current Mood: irate
|Thursday, January 20th, 2005|
I can't really complain much about my boyfriend because he's the best guy ever, besides the fact that he can't ever take the blame for a fight.
But there's a guy I know, and he's constantly trying to get the hookup with me. I've told him multiple times that I have a boyfriend and that he needs to back off. I think he's deaf because he seems not to listen to a damn word I say. He goes as far as coming up to me and hugging me and saying "Hey baby, you should ditch your boyfriend." and then kissing me on the top of my head. By this time I'm ready to slap him. My boyfriend already knows about this and he's pretty pissed off about it, but anyone have any ideas so I can fend this kid off? Current Mood: aggravated